God + My Housemate = Love

Living together harmoniously seems like an easy and natural thing for some people; but for some people like me, it is a skill, an art that needs to be learned.

This is my fourth year living away from my parents, and so far, I have had pretty pleasant experiences with all my previous and present housemates (an accumulative total of seven females). I am very grateful for all my tolerant and loving housemates because I have heard and seen so many friendships ruined over trivial but important questions like "who did those dirty dishes in the sink," and so many souls hold grudges over others over daily, household stuff.

I admit that I am not an easy person to live with. I am a total neat freak, and I have very low tolerance towards noises. On top of that, I do not like to talk much at home. These are my strengths and definitely my biggest weaknesses as well. But God works in incredible ways. I might not like His way, but His way is definitely the exciting way, for He brings me to the perfect housemates that help me to strengthen my household skills and work on some of my attitude issues as well.

So, after almost one and a half years living in the States with N, one of my high school close friends, what have I learned from her?

 
1. The Water Jar Theory

In the US, most people drink water straight out of the tap or filtered tap water. The water filter jar that my housemate and I use at home is Britta-branded. I usually fill the top part of the jar with the maximum amount of water that it can hold, then I let it sit for a while because it takes time for the water at the top to pass through the filter and to be stored at the bottom. Since the jar is small, I have the habit of refilling the jar every time after I take out some water, even if I do not use up all the water in it.

Then I realized I left the jar full, but I came back to the kitchen finding a jar that is less than full. Of course, the water did not just evaporate on its own; N had drunk it. And she did not refill it like I do. Soon, I observed a more interesting phenomenon: if I did not refill the water jar, the water reduced based on the principle of half-life. First, it went from full to half-full, then from half-full, it went to ¼ filled, then 1/8, until finally, there is only an insignificant ring of water barely covering the bottom of the jar. But oddly, I seldom found the jar completely dried.

It did not really bother me at first, but at times when I came home absolutely exhausted and wanted a drink, I felt annoyed discovering there was not enough water in the jar to quench my thirst. It would probably only take one minute or less waiting for the jar to be refilled again, but a tormenting spirit had definitely found its way to grab hold of my grumpy side using this water jar.

Then, a thought occurred to me: isn't my faith in God oddly similar to this water jar as well?

I go to Sunday service once a week, get my heart (the jar) filled and excited for the coming week; but throughout the week, I let all sorts of situations "use up" all the compassion (water) in me. I face challenges, people that get on my nerves, difficulties in study... At first on Monday, I am all positive and patient and able to hold myself together. However, as the week goes on, I slowly lose all the godly characters (water) in me, my grumpy side started to show, and by the end of the week, I am just a dry, bitchy person. I might still have some compassion left in me, but nobody can benefit from that insignificant ring of passion barely enough to keep my bitter heart strong for my daily life.

Therefore, I need to remind myself to refill my heart with God's words every day, every moment. Just like water will not automatically reappear in the water jar if I do not refill it, God's words will not automatically click onto my heart if I do not study them daily. Just like I am hoping for a full jar waiting for me at home when I am exhausted, isn't it great if I already have the everlasting words crafted in my mind and heart, ready to smooth my worried soul when I am down?

 
2. The Space Allotment Theory

My housemate and I live in a huge apartment, and we have more than enough space for everything we ever have and needed. I like to keep all my stuff packed and centered, while N likes to spread out her things. I can find the stuff she often uses like books, bottles, bags, papers covering the space surrounding her bed and her seat. I have to stress that although her things are not well-arranged, she is definitely not dirty. I have been to other people's houses, and the garbage they can tolerate surrounding their study and sleeping space just horrified me.

But there were times when I passed by N's study space and when I vacuumed her bedroom, I couldn't help but get mad at her lack of tidiness. I would complain in my heart, and I think I showed annoyance on my face too. So yesterday while I was vacuuming, I said to myself, "If I am given such a huge bedroom and space to live with, I would have utilized it better."

Bang! Then it occurred to me that this is exactly the message God wants me to understand, but I am too arrogant to submit to the Holy Spirit in my heart. For weeks, I have been losing interest in my studies, pensive and jealous over job offers and research opportunities that my friends got in other universities, and in a nutshell, I hated my present life.

But I have had everything I will ever need. I have my heavenly Father's unfailing love. Throughout my journey with Him, I was never disappointed, never left alone, and through Him, a lot of awesome and unimaginable things have happened in my life! So, while I was focusing on the things I don't have, I did not realize that I was actually wasting away blessings that I already owned. I certainly did not have utilized the huge number of opportunities and good things that already given to me by God!

If I am not able to rejoice in what I already have, how can I expect God to give me more? If I am so proud of my organizing skill, then I should be able to manage the responsibilities that God has entrusted on me well. Furthermore, "better to have little, with fear for the Lord, than to have great treasure and inner turmoil." (Proverbs 15:16)

So far, it seems like I have just exposed all my housemate's weaknesses and make me look good because I am able to learn from her shortcomings. I want to stress that this is certainly not the case. N is sensitive, loving, and she owns a strong sense of responsibility over tasks entrusted to her. She has taught me many things in many other different ways. One of my favorite topics is how she transformed me from someone who is always on financial debt to someone who can actually manage finance well. The other thing I have never told her is how I am ever grateful that she let me lead and manage the home. She certainly has understood me well to know that I love to be the one in charge. She is a little laid back, but I know she can manage the home equally well, or even better if she is in charge.

I am very thankful that N and I are still close friends even after we have seen the ugly side of each other at home, physically, habitually, and emotionally, and I pray that our friendship will last.

Lastly, let me end this entry with one of my favorite verses since high school: "...Whoever wants to be the first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else." (Mark 9:35)