Contentment defined.

During our teaching training, we have been constantly reminded to celebrate small successes. Having high expectation is good, but in life we need to learn to rejoice in progress we made that contributes towards the realization of our high expectation.

However, this post is not so much about celebrating small successes. It is about contentment.

According to Google, contentment means a state of happiness and satisfaction. For me, contentment simply means “my heart is full.”

It would be my honor if you choose to continue reading this article and allow me to demonstrate to you what contentment means to me, based on a tiny fraction of my amazing experience from the past 7 weeks.

Contentment is when I craved for Japanese cuisine on a Sunday, I could drop a message in the group chat, and some good company would join me for lunch at Sakae Sushi two stations away from our hibernation habitat.

Contentment is seeing my student’s eyes sparked with enlightenment when we were having a conversation.

Contentment is watching musicals with a like-minded friend whole day long, free of charge, from the comfort of my bed.

Contentment is when my best friends drove across town, the day right after they came back from an oversea trip, just to meet up with me before I go to another state.

Contentment is when I chose to prioritize work for the school celebration over outing with my collabs, instead of rolling their eyes at my excessive task-oriented nature, my collabs graciously bought me dessert to make sure that I didn’t feel left out.

Contentment is when my collabs and I wore the same color of shirt unplanned.

For 3 weeks I met with these two beautiful minds every night from Sunday to Friday to discuss about the 5W1H: 

What are you planning to teach tomorrow? 

Why are the students giving negative feedback? 

When are things due? 

Which learning standards are you fulfilling? 

How can we make our lesson more scaffolded, more relevant, more appealing to our students? 

Are our lessons aligned? 

Who is observing your class tomorrow? 

Who did what in class today? And the list continued. 

Of course, no discussion was complete without laughter, teasing one another, and snacks.

Contentment is when I found a container that fits the things I have. Eh whattt?!

Contentment is when we craved for dim sum, and we searched up and down for it but failed, then when we were about to give up, we found a traditional Chinese kopitiam at a random corner of a street that sells it. 

Contentment is seeing our kids performed on stage.

They were so focused, so into the flow, and I knew they had given their best. They had complained, whined, and argued during the practices; but when they were on stage, they performed as if they had been performing together for years.

Contentment is having the chance to live in the heart of KL for 7 weeks.

The air was terrible, the food choices were limited, but the night view of the city made things worthwhile. Every night I got to see KL tower dressed in a different color: 

purple on the Wednesday which I attended the cultivation call party, 

blue on the Saturday which I finished watching the anime Steins Gate, 

green on a weekend night which I went out with the cohorts,

red on a weekday which I struggled to complete my lesson plan, 

bright yellow on the Tuesday which installation of new Yang di-Pertuan Agong occurred, and

changing colors on the last Thursday before Kem SKORlah ended.

Contentment is when my dad and I were stuck in a traffic jam, in an old car with barely functioning air-conditioner, in a hot and humid afternoon, instead of feeling grumpy or impatient, we filled our time with hearty conversation and humming along to songs played on the radio.

Contentment is sniffing the warm, dry laundry fresh off the hanger. No amount of softener, dryer sheet can beat the natural scent of sunlight.

Does sunlight has a scent you ask? Oh yes, it does! Excited sunlight particles roam around freely in the air, they hit our laundry by chance, and they hug our clothes tight in their embrace, but they eventually leave. Water particles, which are initially attached to our clothes, miss the sunlight very much, so they make the brave decision to break free, free from the comfort of soft fabric, free from the bonding with one another, to venture into the unfamiliar atmosphere in search of the sunlight particles that have once warmed their souls. The concept of evaporation explained! :p

So what am I sniffing? I am sniffing for the lingering sense of sunlight. The laundry and I, shall always be the faithful witnesses of the love story of sunlight and water.

Erm….I think I might have sidetracked to somewhere weird. Anyway,

Contentment is waking up from a nap to the wonderful aroma of mum’s cooking.

Contentment is when I saw the “skincare kit” bought for me by my sister. I once joked and said I want one of those smaller tool kits sold in Mr.DIY to put my beauty products in. Little did I know, my sister really got me one while I was away!

Contentment is when I felt needed by my furry friend at home. The house bunny, Happy, would run circles around me, follow me wherever I go, and he would not cease until I caress him, clean his cage, and offer him food and fresh water.

Higher pay. Greater financial stability. Better body figure. Stronger house. More advanced electronic gadgets. More oversea vacation trips. A car. A lifelong partner. A family of my own. There are much to desire and there is nothing wrong with desiring such things. In fact, I should be working hard towards achieving some of these things while I am young and able. However, I know my worth is not grounded in these things.

My heart is full because of the people I met. My heart is full because of the moments I shared with the others.

My heart is full because every time when I am tired or when I am feeling not worthy, I am reminded by my family and friends that I am loved, and I am capable to love.

My heart is full because I know for every steps that I will take, I am not alone, God is there to guide and to provide, if I just let Him to.

I am about to turn 23 years old and I am hopeful.

咖啡豆要摄氏几度才会化入水里？

有没有一个地方，环境算不上理想、路人算不上和善，却偏偏让你欲罢不能？不想离开，不要离开；只想在这个地方多用功一点点，好改善环境一些。只想在这个地方多付出一点点，好让彼此再靠近一些。

马来西亚吉隆坡嘉美回教堂区是一个怎么样的地方？

对外国人而言，这里是个旅游胜地；对上班族而言，这里是个办公行政区；对瘾君子流浪汉而言，这里是个无法无天的避风港。这里的地铁站是除了吉隆坡中央车站之外最繁忙的转搭站，每天人来人往应接不暇。很多人在此留下了脚印，却没有人留下。

这一区美其名是个文化交流的大染缸，说穿了就是个龙蛇混杂的钢骨森林。你一不小心，就会被吃掉：被枯燥的工作埋没了理想、被浮华的城市吞没了纯真。又或是，就现实而言：你不小心，很容易就会被骚扰、被打抢、被车撞。

我只能用一个字来形容这一区：烈。有太阳的时候热得燥、没太阳的时候闷得慌。这里的楼只有越来越高，这里的食物只有越来越辣。车飙行人冲不停，爱恨情仇痛不止。偏偏是在这么炽烈的地方，我发现了一个冰凉得像桶隔夜井水般的人。

此君说话一针见血。见血的针伤不可怕；让人疯狂之处，在于他敷在你伤口上的凉井水。我明明知道井水苦涩，却又情不自禁地欲伸手往井里继续探。

是什么时候开始我慢慢褪色了？不再追求去理解，不再追求被理解。我待人处世曾是那么地激烈那么地执着那么地渴望，为什么我现在把自己藏起来了？藏得那么深，只允许自己出现在片言字语里。恰淡固然好，偶烈又何妨？

我其实真的很好奇：两颗各有信念的心，两个似同非同的人，到底可以靠得多近？什么样的距离，才能让人舒服地相处？就算有尴尬，也不会灼伤彼此。还是说，人际关系其实真的就像两颗氢体一样：或志同道合、或欢喜冤家地聚在一起，然后两方拼死拼活地磨合，好不容易两人找到最舒服的平衡点了，却又慢慢地貌合神离、终究形同陌路？

此友说，又何妨？

真的，何妨？

朋友嘛，用年月知道彼此的一点好、一点坏，然后你若不退缩，我便不离开。

暂时，嘉美回教堂区还算呆得下去。

PSP W3 Weekdays

The training has finally picked up the momentum to go into full swing. We had lessons that were packed with heavy content from 8 to 5 everyday and we had our second microteaching on Wednesday focusing on delivering a short but complete lesson plan. 

Despite the workload, I had lots of fun hanging out with people, and I am thankful that I got the chances to bond with a few of them too. 

Our small group had a dinner together on Tuesday night. Our facilitator ordered delivery for us. The food was very healthy and reasonably priced. I had vegan nasi lemak.

On Wednesday night, a few friends and I went for a post-microteaching celebration dinner. Noel and Janet attempted the Mc Chicken 3 bites challenge. Noel succeeded. That was intense and insane. I made a video about it but I shall not post it here due to privacy reason.

Some moments are meant to be cherished among those who were involved only. 

I had a minor mental meltdown on Thursday so I skipped the social night. 

I stayed back at the PSP site to watch anime instead. I had my quiet moment, then everything was back to peace. At night, I got to know more about Elaine and bonded with her over dinner. 

At the dinner I mentioned a bit about my past relationship. After agonizing for so long, I finally managed to get it off my chest by saying it out to someone.

A selfie of me and Jing Yi. 

We had a selfie together on the first day of PSP, and since we just reached the midpoint of PSP training program, I felt the need to get another selfie with this hardworking and diligent lady. 

We have appreciation session every Friday evening before we are dismissed for the weekend. For the past 2 times, we wrote on post-it notes and put them into others' envelope. 

But for this week, we had a paper plate stuck to our back and we wrote encouraging message for each others on the plate. 

I am grateful for the messages that I received. I love how colorful my plate is too. 

Lastly, 5 of us went for dinner and movie on Friday night at Sunway Putra Mall. We watched 'Fantastic Beasts and where to find them'. 

Such a fascinating movie. It's a quirky one too. I love it.

My favorite scene is the scene where Queenie kissed Jacob in rain under the invisible umbrella she created using her wand. When I watched that scene, I think I can instantly relate to Queenie's feeling.

"I can't keep you away from the harsh reality of life forever.
I wish I can.
But at the very least, let me shield you and keep you warm,
even if it's just for a brief moment."

That's all I have for now.

PSP W2 Weekend

Peeps, here I am, trying to do something I love and I know: blogging.
I need this moment now, especially after what I have done to my own working skirt when I tried to iron it:

I have only wore this skirt once. 

This was how the iron looked like right after the burn:

I had a good laugh at my mistake for few seconds, then I did some research online. Apparently I can scrape the burnt fabric off the iron using a wooden spatula. So I went to the nearest 7-11 and got myself an ice cream on stick. 

This is how the iron looks like now:

Ermm......

This is how the stick looks like now after I used it as scraper:

The burn juice(?!) stuck on it. 

Peeps, ironing is definitely not something I know how to do.

Anyway,

I had lots of fun this weekend. :)

Amazing Race on Saturday morning at Taman Eco Park Bukit Nanas.

We were chilling at the parking lot while waiting for the organizing team to set up all the obstacles.

Sakae Sushi date with some of them on Sunday afternoon.

Delicious Sang Kaya coconut ice cream as dessert. Yum yum.

I met up with G and N over the weekend too! 

But no pictures for that here because those pictures are in my camera now and I have yet to transfer them into my laptop. 

I am grateful for everything that happened over this weekend. 

Not just for the burnt skirt and the fun dates, but for everything else going behind the scene and inside my head as well.

PSP W2 D4

Quote of the day:

"You see the brightest light when you are at the deepest pit." - Tina

(Excerpted from my conversation with my St.John FA&HN competition team leader when I was in Form 3)

Most of us are going above and beyond to get the teacher's attention! 

We looked like a bunch of Form 1 kids. Haha.

Advantage of group reward system: it promotes students' participation in class.

Disadvantage: some students are actually demotivated to participate in class because they don't like the over-competitive chaos induced by the system.

(c) photo credit to Bernard.

NERF GUN WAR!!

10 out of 10. Best stress relieving game ever.

PSP W2 D3

Quote of the day:

"Why should we focus on the differences when we have so much in common?" - Noel

(Excerpted from his story about him and his osananajimi)

This week we learnt a lot of technical details on how to manage a class, then we had our first microteaching session focusing on giving clear instructions on W2D4.

My highlight of the day was the group discussion we had at night before we delivered our lesson on the next day. Three of us got together, and we went from discussing about the topic that we were supposed to teach to discussing about skeletons in our closets.

I shared my point of view on marriage and relationship. Bad move. Now I can't get the topic off my head. Well, at least for now I no longer cry or feel frustrated because of it anymore. However, I guess the past experience of an unfruitful relationship will never be forgotten completely.

It's like a background app on your phone, you will never use it, yet once in a while when you accidentally click into it, you are being reminded that it's actually running and it's draining your phone data.

PSP W2 D2

Quote of the day:

"Saya akan bunyikan dia." - Anas

(Excerpted from his role-playing script as a teacher who is trying to convince a mother to let her kid join an overnight trip)

With my current height I can only see the fence.

If I focus on the fence alone, I will lose sight of the tower.  

Yet if I am content with the sight of the tower, I will not be able to see the twin-tower. 

PSP W2 D1

Quote of the day:

"People don't care how much you know, they want to know how much you care." - Pn.Tan
(retired principal of a public school in Selangor)

(Excerpted from her speech during the panel sharing session on building relationship in school)

Story #1:

Today we had a class on 21st century teaching and learning. Specifically, we talked about Maker Education where kids make to learn. The speaker Nigel mentioned about how his kids surprised him over and over with their creativity and their capability to absorb and process new information. 

Earlier today, some kids from ARUS (a social enterprise that focuses on introducing the secondary school students to computational thinking & coding) came to present their prototype projects to us.
 THEY ARE SO AMAZING!

"How did you come up with this?"

"What makes you want to do this?"

"Wah...I would not be able to do this when I was at your age!"

After seeing those kids' presentation, and listening to Nigel and TED talk speaker Sugata Mitra, my biggest take away for today is: it's totally fine for us as the teachers to play the granny role. 

It's okay if the kids outsmart us. In fact, that's how the world should be. 

Story #2:

(c) photo credit to Noel

Today our professional learning community (in layman's term: our small group) came together to create a vision for our group.
I love the collaboration. Everyone contributed their ideas and talents and worked together to produce this final product.

(c) photo credit to Nancy

As much as I am very excited about working with this group of people over the next few weeks, I have to constantly remind myself that the group doesn't last.
I can't get way too comfortable with them because I know if I do, I will close myself up in that close circle, and I will stop trying to understand and work with people outside of the circle.
It happened to me during high school with St.John gang, during INTEC with the Eugene class, during university with Ed's bible study group. I want to avoid making that mistake again!

I need to understand that while friendship lasts, close community doesn't!

PSP W1 Weekend

Not much happened during this weekend. 

Friday - had classes from 8 to 5, watched anime with some friends at night

Saturday - watched anime & Cloud Atlas with Saf

Sunday - hung out with the girls 

Punjabi hunting with some girls on Sunday afternoon.

The movie Cloud Atlas has a fascinating plot. It challenged me to think about whether it's worth it to become the catalyst, game-changer, or basically just any person who takes initiative in this society.

You might succeed and be able to carry out the change you want to see in the world; you might narrowly escape death and be able to tell your adventures to the young ones; or you might be on an one way ticket to absolute failure or even death.

The movie as a whole is an optimistic one, with the underlying theme of even when one fails or dies, his work remains, and it will become inspiration for the generations to come. You will never know, words and sounds that are condemned during your lifetime, might just be remedy for someone in the future.

On that optimistic but slightly grim note, I am entering week 2 of the training.

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." - Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

PSP W1 D5

Quote of the day:

"My personal belief is to believe." - Emi

(Excerpted from her sharing on beliefs and experience that shaped her point of view on education.)

Thursday night means social night!

It's movie night tonight.

What's movie night without some pizza?!

Okay. Just a tad of serious stuff. 

Today's lesson focused on personal believes, our vision, and diversity. Peeps, I have to admit that these are some tough topics. If I am going to do my reflection (read: assignment) seriously, I will have to challenge lots of the perceptions and beliefs that I hold on to (some for inexplicable reasons).

Sigh.

.

.

.

(c) photo credit to Google Image

PSP W1 D4

Quote of the day:

"You can't give the students what you don't have." - Mr.Tan (principal of KYS)

(Excerpted from his speech on what does education means and his personal experience.)

We got the chance to visit two very different schools today.

Yay! I love excursion! 

The first school that we visited is a juvenile prison school, while the other school is a top-ranking private school.

The question that we are exploring is:

What could "excellent education" look like in the Malaysian context?

The schools are of course, very different in terms of the funding received, facilities, and the students' freedom to move around the school compound.

However, both schools are actually strikingly similar when it comes to what they are offering to the students:
A clear student vision.

Courses that are relevant to them.

Intense physical training that could build their character and physical.
Close-knit relationship between teachers and students.
Close connection between students and nature.

Are these things the possible secret recipe to excellent education?
Are these things really what the students need and want?

If so, is it possible to replicate or modify these recipe so that other schools can use it too?

How?

Jing Yi, Noel and I spent a good amount of time (read: most of the time) in the bus chatting. I have tons of fun chatting with both of them. Their stories and their perspectives amazed me. At one point we were even discussing odd questions like, "are humans inherently good or evil?" 

How did we even come to that?!

Anyway, the night ended with some of us watching "Kimi no Na Wa" together. It is a very thought provoking movie and I highly recommend it to everyone. You can watch it just for the smoothing background music and detailed graphic too.

"Kimi no Na Wa", along with "ReLIFE" and "Orange" are the three animes that I watched over the summer that explore about rewriting history and erasing regrets. 

Do you have any regrets?

So far I have a few of them. There are times where I wish I could send letter to my old self or travel back in time to change those things.  

Today I wonder, "do I join TFM because I am compassionate? Or because I am subconsciously being repentant?"

PSP W1 D3

Quote of the day:

"Don't fall in love with the solution, focus on the problem." - Nigel Sim (2014 alumnus)

(Excerpted from his advice on how to start initiatives to help solve problems related to education inequity)

We went to Pasar Seni to grab dinner today. While we were walking pass this square on our way back, we met a whole wave of people running across the square in the same direction. My immediate thought was, "What happened? Is there a major fire happening nearby?!" 

Turned out all of them were just trying to catch Pokemon. 

=____=

Texas chicken for dinner. The honey biscuit is heavenly.

When Jing Yi and I was on our way back from lunch yesterday, she got bird poop on her hair.
Then on the same day, when Wei Yi and I was on our way to dinner, she got bird poop on her hair too!
What's the probability c'mon?!
So I made sure I went to lunch with Man Yi today.
She was safe.
I think she just broke the spell for all the -YIs.
The end.

PSP W1 D2

Quote of the day:

"Table lamp as Chinese food." - Man Yi

(Excerpted from her tragicomedy about working with 3 MIA group mates for a project on creating a food delivery app) 

The main site that we are having most of our training at.

This is how my new room looks like!

I am glad to be able to unpack all my luggage!

Wefies:

Jing Yi and I. 

Picture taken at the hotel lobby while we are waiting for our new rooms.

Siew Ting and I.

Picture taken in her room before we head out to dinner and Mydin.

(c) photo credit to Nisa. 

My roommate, Nisa and I.

Picture taken yesterday in our room before we head out to the opening dinner.

PSP W1 D1

Here marks the start of my 7-weeks intensive training program with TFM. 

I have definitely over-packed. 

A 28 inch luggage, a recyclable bag (containing a A4 size box and other stuff), a bag pack, and a handbag.

The hotel that we are staying in for these 7 weeks is overbooked today, so the management upgrades some of us to deluxe rooms for tonight. 

The good news is we get to enjoy the room. The bad news is we need to come back during lunch time tomorrow to move into a standard room.

 Bye bye, all the luxurious space. :(

The whole hotel is movie themed, so there is this very glamour hall of fame - classic movie posters on the wall, umbrella with Marilyn Monroe on it on the ceiling - on the mezzanine floor. 

Here is a picture of some of the ladies in my cohort. Picture taken during registration briefing.

PSP Opening Dinner at Slate @ The Row.

Mosaic Wall - What do you want to learn from PSP 2017?

I wrote, "how to teach others how to learn."

Quotes Wall - Write down a quote that keeps you going.

My quote was "Don't fear what you don't understand," modified from a quote said by author Andrew Smith.

That's all for today. I will post an ootd picture after I receive the pictures from my roommate. :)  

My US Apartment Tour

#ThrowBackThursday

Watching Cantonese Opera at Nine Emperor Gods Festival

Nine Emperor Gods Festival (九皇爷诞) is an annual festival celebrated by Taoists during the beginning of 9th month according to the lunar calendar. It is observed in many cities in southern China and South East Asia. My hometown, Ipoh is one of those cities that are zealous about this festival. Since I am a Christian, I don’t participate in the religious rituals; however, as an Ipohan, once in a while I do attend the carnival (庙会) as a cultural event.

This year, I attended the carnival at Palace of Dou Mu (斗母宫), one of the larger Chinese temples in Ipoh. (Dou Mu is a Taoist Goddess.)

As usual, the carnival was packed with believers who were there to pray and worship, and non-believers who were there for the performance and the food, or simply to experience the exciting vibe.

The only part I care about in this festival is the performance. When I was young, the temples always hired professionals to perform Cantonese Opera (粤剧/广东大戏) during the carnival. However during recent years, more and more temples are replacing Cantonese Opera with modern singing and dancing, something cheaper and more appealing to the younger generation. Heck no! I ain’t going no carnival if they aren’t showing Cantonese Opera!

On the day I went, the crew was performing a romantic opera titled “征袍还金粉”, which loosely translated to “Armor and The Belle”. Okay, I know my translation sucks.

Anyway, the story is about a pair of pathetic lovebirds who are separated. The girl is forced to marry to the boy’s elder cousin brother while the boy goes to war. [Totally classic plot of Chinese soap opera] When the boy returns victoriously, he finds out that his sweetheart is already married. Even though he is in agony, he chooses not to snatch her back because his mother begs him not to do so. [Oh well, such a mommy’s boy] Yada yada yada, a lot of things happen and finally, the mean cousin brother repents and he returns the girl to the boy. And they live happily ever after. The end.

The female lead. 

The mean elder cousin brother.

The male lead. 

One of the things I love about Cantonese Opera is the unnecessarily long peacock feathers that characters put on their heads. They will use the feathers very wisely (pull/swing/shake) to help intensify their current emotions. 

The male lead's sidekick.

Face wise I think he makes a better male lead don't you think? :p

It's very common in Cantonese Opera for actresses to take on male roles and vice versa.

One of the musicians. 

I chatted with him during the intermission and he told me he has been playing musical instruments for Cantonese Opera for more than 50 years. He is 80+ years old now! 

Sadly none of his grandchildren are interested in Cantonese Opera so nobody came to support him that night. 

The saxophone used by the musician. He has used this for 30 years now.

The name of the theatrical company hired to perform at Palace of Dou Mu.

The female lead in wedding gown. 

For most of the people, Nine Emperor Gods Festival is worth looking forward to because of the food. Specifically, the turtle bun (乌龟包)!

Image taken from bobofoo.com

Turtle bun is a pastry that is available only during this festival, much like Starbuck’s pumpkin spice latte during fall. Traditionally, turtle bun is bought and presented as a sacrifice to the Gods; however, most people buy it nowadays just because they want to eat it. I have absolutely no craving for it, so I don’t really understand why people would endure through the long queue and buy dozens of turtle buns.

I saw quite some young people at the carnival. A lot of them were there just to enjoy the atmosphere (like me!); some joined in the worshipping but it seemed like they just did it because others were doing it. They were definitely not as fervent as the older generation. According to my dad, the crowd that was at the carnival on that day was less than 1/10 of the crowd that attended the festival during his teenage days.

Maybe one day there will not be any Nine Emperor Gods festival happening in Ipoh anymore. Who knows?