Contentment defined.

During our teaching training, we have been constantly reminded to celebrate small successes. Having high expectation is good, but in life we need to learn to rejoice in progress we made that contributes towards the realization of our high expectation.

However, this post is not so much about celebrating small successes. It is about contentment.

According to Google, contentment means a state of happiness and satisfaction. For me, contentment simply means “my heart is full.”

It would be my honor if you choose to continue reading this article and allow me to demonstrate to you what contentment means to me, based on a tiny fraction of my amazing experience from the past 7 weeks.

Contentment is when I craved for Japanese cuisine on a Sunday, I could drop a message in the group chat, and some good company would join me for lunch at Sakae Sushi two stations away from our hibernation habitat.

Contentment is seeing my student’s eyes sparked with enlightenment when we were having a conversation.

Contentment is watching musicals with a like-minded friend whole day long, free of charge, from the comfort of my bed.

Contentment is when my best friends drove across town, the day right after they came back from an oversea trip, just to meet up with me before I go to another state.

Contentment is when I chose to prioritize work for the school celebration over outing with my collabs, instead of rolling their eyes at my excessive task-oriented nature, my collabs graciously bought me dessert to make sure that I didn’t feel left out.

Contentment is when my collabs and I wore the same color of shirt unplanned.

For 3 weeks I met with these two beautiful minds every night from Sunday to Friday to discuss about the 5W1H: 

What are you planning to teach tomorrow? 

Why are the students giving negative feedback? 

When are things due? 

Which learning standards are you fulfilling? 

How can we make our lesson more scaffolded, more relevant, more appealing to our students? 

Are our lessons aligned? 

Who is observing your class tomorrow? 

Who did what in class today? And the list continued. 

Of course, no discussion was complete without laughter, teasing one another, and snacks.

Contentment is when I found a container that fits the things I have. Eh whattt?!

Contentment is when we craved for dim sum, and we searched up and down for it but failed, then when we were about to give up, we found a traditional Chinese kopitiam at a random corner of a street that sells it. 

Contentment is seeing our kids performed on stage.

They were so focused, so into the flow, and I knew they had given their best. They had complained, whined, and argued during the practices; but when they were on stage, they performed as if they had been performing together for years.

Contentment is having the chance to live in the heart of KL for 7 weeks.

The air was terrible, the food choices were limited, but the night view of the city made things worthwhile. Every night I got to see KL tower dressed in a different color: 

purple on the Wednesday which I attended the cultivation call party, 

blue on the Saturday which I finished watching the anime Steins Gate, 

green on a weekend night which I went out with the cohorts,

red on a weekday which I struggled to complete my lesson plan, 

bright yellow on the Tuesday which installation of new Yang di-Pertuan Agong occurred, and

changing colors on the last Thursday before Kem SKORlah ended.

Contentment is when my dad and I were stuck in a traffic jam, in an old car with barely functioning air-conditioner, in a hot and humid afternoon, instead of feeling grumpy or impatient, we filled our time with hearty conversation and humming along to songs played on the radio.

Contentment is sniffing the warm, dry laundry fresh off the hanger. No amount of softener, dryer sheet can beat the natural scent of sunlight.

Does sunlight has a scent you ask? Oh yes, it does! Excited sunlight particles roam around freely in the air, they hit our laundry by chance, and they hug our clothes tight in their embrace, but they eventually leave. Water particles, which are initially attached to our clothes, miss the sunlight very much, so they make the brave decision to break free, free from the comfort of soft fabric, free from the bonding with one another, to venture into the unfamiliar atmosphere in search of the sunlight particles that have once warmed their souls. The concept of evaporation explained! :p

So what am I sniffing? I am sniffing for the lingering sense of sunlight. The laundry and I, shall always be the faithful witnesses of the love story of sunlight and water.

Erm….I think I might have sidetracked to somewhere weird. Anyway,

Contentment is waking up from a nap to the wonderful aroma of mum’s cooking.

Contentment is when I saw the “skincare kit” bought for me by my sister. I once joked and said I want one of those smaller tool kits sold in Mr.DIY to put my beauty products in. Little did I know, my sister really got me one while I was away!

Contentment is when I felt needed by my furry friend at home. The house bunny, Happy, would run circles around me, follow me wherever I go, and he would not cease until I caress him, clean his cage, and offer him food and fresh water.

Higher pay. Greater financial stability. Better body figure. Stronger house. More advanced electronic gadgets. More oversea vacation trips. A car. A lifelong partner. A family of my own. There are much to desire and there is nothing wrong with desiring such things. In fact, I should be working hard towards achieving some of these things while I am young and able. However, I know my worth is not grounded in these things.

My heart is full because of the people I met. My heart is full because of the moments I shared with the others.

My heart is full because every time when I am tired or when I am feeling not worthy, I am reminded by my family and friends that I am loved, and I am capable to love.

My heart is full because I know for every steps that I will take, I am not alone, God is there to guide and to provide, if I just let Him to.

I am about to turn 23 years old and I am hopeful.