东湾公寓的三个女生

这篇文的主角是谁其实我还没搞懂。乍看标题，偏正短语，所以此文应该是主讲三个女生；但是我下意识觉得我写完之后，东湾公寓的戏份可能要多一点。呃。。。想来看人物描写的朋友们将就着看看吧。

说到东湾公寓的三个女生，得从她们怎么糊里糊涂地住进东湾公寓开始讲起。 去年年杪，一班呆子仗着年轻热血，工作的地点还没分配下来呢，他们就已冲入沙仓找房子。这三个女生就是当时在一班人中凑合在一起的。距离新的一年只剩下两天了，大部分的人都找好房子、签好约、安顿下来了，就这三只还在茫然摸索。偏偏她们还不肯将就，看了三四套房都嫌不满意，一边急得如热窝上的蚂蚁，一边又慢条斯理地和各房产经纪谈条件。

后来他们通过微笑姐姐的介绍，看了一个室内设计师出租的公寓。屋主把公寓装修设计得非常漂亮，公寓中大至家俱电器，小至枕头碗筷，一概俱全，质量上乘。三个女生满意得没话说。看屋谈细节的时候是屋主亲自来谈的，诚意拳拳。屋主知道这三个女生是来沙仓当人类灵魂工程师的，所以房租开了个跳楼价，颇有半租半送的意思。其实房东开的租金和其他单位的差不多，但是配上这一屋子的装潢，物超所值了！

三个女生中午看房子，当天晚上就搬进去睡了。第一天晚上躺在床上的时候，特么没有真实感，偏偏还来不及把公寓打扫一遍，所以也不敢把自己的抱枕被单拿出来沾灰尘，就只能闻着陌生的味道，诚惶诚恐地睡了一宿。

东湾公寓的格局是一厅三卧，一个厨房，两间浴室，还有一个阳台。住户能随个人喜好设计长方形的空间，分割出玄关、客厅，和饭厅。 设计师的屋更是占了地理优势，阳台方向常年有风，主人房在正北偏东。设计师屋主在大厅安置了一面长长的镜子，镜子上端和下端都安装了一整排的橘灯。晚上时分，亮了灯，大伙儿聚在长桌子前用餐说笑，场面格外温馨，让人轻易地卸下工作后的疲惫。

公寓的装潢以黑白为主，厨房、大厅，及各房间的壁橱、桌椅，和床架都是全黑或全白。家中各处的窗帘是银灰色的，为公寓增添七分时尚，三分“业界精英”的装逼。只是黑白的公寓未免过于冷硬单调，为了营造“温暖窝”的感觉，屋主巧心地没有选用深色的皮沙发来布置客厅，改用姜黄色的布沙发。客厅的那面墙装上了整幅的木制背景，电视机嵌在深褐色的木制背景上。布沙发加上同是姜黄色的混纺地毯，全套褐色的电视背景配上长方形的木茶几，整个客厅散发出简约、舒心的气息，诱惑着主人和客人同座一堂，浅酌深聊。

好吧。终于来说说东湾公寓的三个女生。方便起见，住主人房的女孩叫大小姐，住房间朝北的叫二小姐，住房间朝东的叫三小姐。

大小姐长相出众，更难得的是腹有诗书气自华。有男性朋友说，若是每一天一睁眼能看到大小姐的睡颜，那一整天应该都会是美好的。（放心放心，这位男性朋友是三个女生的好姐妹，大伙儿当时开玩笑而已，并不存在性骚扰的隐忧。）又有学长夸说，认识了大小姐之后，才了解“美”的定义。那么回眸一笑百媚生的大小姐是个花瓶吗？嘿嘿，别搞错了，她可是个老干部！虽然是三人之中年纪最小的，大小姐却是充当着知心姐姐、开车教练等稳重的角色。她为人低调，认真工作，不恃宠而骄，这也是大家喜欢和她相处的最大原因。

二小姐活泼开朗，爱热闹，待客热情，每天都像一颗小太阳一样活力十足。二小姐的房内有一张超大超舒适的双人床，床大得连房间都快容不下了，而二小姐的心就像那张大床一样，温柔贴心，有着令人欲罢不能的魔力。有时候真好奇她那娇小的身板怎能承载着这么多源源不绝的正能量和对人的热忱？有时候又替她担心，她那种“先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐”的广大心胸难免让她常常闷闷不乐，不知道什么时候她才能看破一点儿？难能可贵的是，二小姐虽然好玩，可她一向自律，今日事绝对今日毕，而且一切有可能对身体或心灵造成负面影响的东西，她都坚决不碰。

三小姐的个性较散漫，大剌剌的，她的口才有点儿不得要领：说好听的是说话率直，说难听了就是在熟人面前口无遮拦。呃。。。这不是优点，跳过。三小姐的其中一项优点就是容易深眠，她自觉这项优点让她非常适合当东厢房的女主人，因为不论是早上刺眼的晨光、还是夜半不停、轰雷贯耳的载歌载舞声，都不会影响三小姐的睡眠质量。

公寓有三位常客，他们的存在为三个女生在外打拼的小窝增添“家”的感觉。

第一位是微笑姐姐。顾名思义，微笑姐姐常常面带笑容，而且她极富正义感，所以如果有一天她当上了某某非政府组织的代言人或是亲善大使，出现在电视上，大家大概也不会觉得很突然或很惊讶。微笑姐姐、白熊先生，和三个女生合伙做晚饭，她烧的砂拉越中式料理真是太好吃了，为四个西马人打开了新料理的大门。

第二位是春卷先生。春卷先生不住在东湾公寓内，所以他较不常来串门子，但是他每次来都会很用心地带上手信，水果、饮料、酸奶等。他家附近有一间相当好吃的点心店，有一次大家托他外带点心到东湾公寓，再配上他精瘦的身材，春卷先生的外号就是从那时开始冒出来的。春卷先生外向，很会带动气氛，是在家开趴、在外露营的必带良伴。

春卷先生一般到东湾公寓来一起办公，写作业、试前温习、改考卷等。还记得今年学校年中假期的最后一天，大伙儿一块儿坐在厅里。春卷先生、白熊先生，和三小姐在改考卷改得晕头转向，一餐桌一沙发的试卷，还有一叠叠地放在脚边。大小姐和二小姐在备课。大家都聚精会神地在做自己的事，虽然不说话，但是场面格外和谐。

第三位是白熊先生。白熊先生长得白白净净，不论是外表、个性、或是办事能力都像熊一样让人觉得可靠。白熊先生特别喜欢坐在沙发靠近阳台的那一端，大概是因为坐在那能吹到风，高兴时能随意加入大伙儿的话题，不高兴时又能静静地呆着不显眼，又双叒叕能看到厨房的动静，真是一举多得。

白熊先生是个家里宅，比起出去趴趴走更喜欢在家摸三圈。白熊先生非常热心于打三角麻将，不只花钱买了一副麻将寄放在东湾公寓，还不问劳累从头教起，硬是把三个原本对麻将一窍不通的女生训练成老牌友。白熊先生把这项人民运动做起来后，东湾公寓的餐桌又解锁了一项新功能 – 麻将桌。那面长长的镜子也成了白熊先生教学的白板。现在只要逮到没事做的、没话说的，大伙儿把人往麻将桌上一按，两三个小时一下子就过去了。

如无意外，三个女生会在东湾公寓再住一年。再之后的事，谁也不知道。东湾公寓内其实还有很多没提起的地方，累积了很多说不完的故事：一进门的柜台，一年来被一班人当成是交作业的地方；见证过无数佳肴和黑心料理的厨房；阳台禁地，是讲电话、诉心事，和偷窥停车场的好地方。。。。。。一锅子的回忆熬成细长的线，盘川在东湾公寓的各个角落。

When is the last time you clean?

Dear parents and teachers, I hope you teach your kids cleanliness. Yes, cleanliness that involves physically cleaning up a space. To sweep to mop to arrange to tidy up to wipe to vacuum to tuck in.

I could not tell you enough how important it is to instill this value in our children. I could not tell you enough how much character building we can achieve with our children by simply disciplining them to clean.

Cleaning teaches us responsibility, appreciation, teamwork, and its worth transcends beyond these to deeper spiritual level. It forces us to (literally and spiritually) take a step back at wherever we are and evaluate the situation. It forces us to clear out the skeleton in our closets (hopefully this one is just spiritually).

Ladies and gentlemen, be someone who cleans, and marries someone who cleans. If a person can't even treat his/her space right, how do you suppose he/she treats your body right? If someone is too busy doing other important stuff that he/she doesn't have time to clean, how do you suppose that someone finds time to listen to you rant?

God puts aside a whole book of Levi to talk about rules, and a lot of the rules concern about cleanliness. God is a god who loves cleanliness. Or as my kids love to write in their essays, "cleanliness is next to godliness".

Chemistry talks about entropy, the degree of randomness. Any reaction will be in favour of proceeding in a direction that increases the overall entropy of the universe. Which means it is a natural tendency for a space to get messy and messier. However, this is not an excuse for us to not clean; on the contrary, countering that instinct and nature to be messy, to get dirty is what makes us human. In the similar fashion, we counter that instinct to hate in order to love; we counter that fleshly desire to sin in order to do good.

A kid is never too young to learn about cleanliness. And if you are stil thinking who should teach the kids cleanliness, IT'S YOU.

One day, all children in Malaysia will be able to clean their schoolbags, classrooms, toilets, and labs without being forced to.


-written by a teacher who just spent a good 20 minutes sweeping and arranging the lab, because she believes in cleanliness, also because she prefers anything else at this point than grading papers.


(extracted from my Facebook post, written on November 15)

年杪，咱聊聊

久违地睡到自然醒。

忙完课业后，本想出去走走收集写作素材;可朋友聚起来之后，咱倒变成家里蹲，叫了外卖，开桌打麻将。

兴趣广了，人的想法也变了。

面对改变，其实还是挺害怕的，但滚滚长江东逝水，不可拒、不可留。是非成败转头空，青山依旧在，几度夕阳红。朋友嘛，一壶浊酒喜相逢，古今多少事， 都付笑谈中。

青竹（庆祝PT3考生脱难）

上个星期我负责监考PT3 (中三评估考试)。人性本善，再爱折腾的皮孩子，进了考场之后都顺得像只无措的小绵羊。

第一天第一场考试，我监考所谓的精英班。学生非常自律，下令“考试开始”后没有人急着翻卷，穆斯林先祈祷，非信徒先深呼吸，气氛很平静。学生穿着整齐，手帕、穆斯林男性小帽、还有惯用的文具有序地并列在桌子上。人人下笔如有神。有个女孩悄悄地脱了鞋，边写边轻晃着一双套上了白袜的脚丫。后来她发现我在偷看她，害羞了，把脚缩到裙摆下。

第一天第二场考试，我转战监考末车班。天渊之别。同样是哑雀无声的考场，这回充斥着焦虑。男孩的手帕很大、略带黑，可能是用旧了，又可能是蘸了氧化了的鼻涕和汗水。孩子们把厚厚的数学考卷从首页翻到尾页，又从尾页翻到首页，迟迟未能下笔。有个男孩脱了鞋，尔后连袜子都脱了，翘着二郎腿在想题。思考入神后，他开始抖脚。根据他抖脚的频率，不难猜测出他的思路。这样的孩子不好，太实心眼了，能当侦探能说谎么？（很明显老师的思维焦点也有问题。）

好几位同学准备了新胶擦。写错了，他们的第一反应不是擦掉，而是各种涂黑割掉，真不行了，才慢慢地、几近虔诚地把新胶擦的包装拆开来，然后轻轻地使用胶擦的一角。看着这群孩子傻里傻气的举动，我的眼角莫名地红了。他们的这番举动，其实和家境好不好、读书勤不勤，个性劣不劣没多大的关系。这样的呵护是少年少女特有的一种本性，大了才知道难能可贵。

孩子们，考试完了，你们暂且自由了。假期你们去哪玩啊？

话题一转，聊聊我最近去过的地方。最近去了森林城市和公主码头，都是距离沙仓大概一个小时车程的地方。



介绍智能家园的展览厅。



小时候和爸爸去参观过做这种楼盘模型的美术公司，特别佩服那些设计师，一胶一纸地把模型做出来，太有耐性了！



人造海滩。



森林城市的楼盘还在发展中，发展商和买家都是外国人。房子的价位是绝大部分大马人买不起的。等那里正式建好了，我们要去参观大概就不容易了。在自己的土地当过路客，这种别扭的违和感是怎么了？

公主码头也很漂亮，设备很完善，以竹藤为主题的各种户外展览亲近自然又不失现代感，是拍照的好景点。





椰林树影托红椅，蓝天艳阳衬藤床。











可惜了一湾蓝水，碧波印天，还是藏不了里头的腌臜。我们什么时候才能学会像日本人一样爱干净、不乱丢垃圾？

各位在新山和沙仓的朋友，有机会可以去看看这些景点，不会太远，一日游也花不上太多钱。视频得来终觉浅，绝知此事要躬行。尤其是有家庭的，不妨多带孩子出去走走，他们才有机会知道，世界这么大，我们见识过的才这么少，岂能安于现状？

Unplugged

1:00 a.m. Here I am, blogging.

24 hours ago, I was rushing to finish off my assignment. (For those who don’t know, I am currently studying part time to obtain a teaching diploma.)

96 hours ago, I was at a campsite by the beach, building gadgets with my teammates using bamboo, wood, and raffia string.

On 1^st to 4^th of October, 49 of us went to Teluk Gorek, Mersing, Johor for a Scout camp. I was thankful for the opportunity to get away from school and go back to nature.

Spending 4 days 3 nights by the seaside was an amazing experience. It was truly the time where I could slow down, focus on a task at a time, and let loose of my thoughts. Every night, I would fall asleep to the sound of the sea waves, and wake up to this therapeutic view.

During the camp we were asked to make gadgets such as chair, table, storage unit, shoes rack, and fork and spoon using materials available. We tied the sticks together with raffia string using knots that we have learned. I would like to take this chance to thank each and everyone in Garuda team for your dedicated hard work.

My biggest happiness during the camp was waking up to new gadgets built by other teammates. The first night when we hit our sleeping bags, our compound was empty; when we woke up in the morning, there was a real size storage stand standing outside our tents. 

The second night when I woke up for sentry duty, I found a table sitting at our kitchen area, sturdy and ready to be used.

Those moments were magical. It was like Christmas came early in October this year. Everyday was a surprise because I did not know what gadgets we would wake up to.

Of course, those gadgets did not just pop up from thin air. Some of us had selflessly sacrificed their sleep time to make those gadgets. Which made them even better gifts for a person like me whom love language is act of service! [:p] Oh, sweet sweet Christmas! May God bless abundantly each and everyone who had contributed, in big or small ways, to the production of those gadgets! [;D]

I enjoyed the camp.

Before I went, I was afraid that I might break down again like how I did during BTN in 2013, because BTN reminded me a great deal about my high school camping mates, and that time I wished I had attended the camp with my high school buddies rather than my college mates (hopefully no offense taken for any college friends reading this……opps……)

Besides, I was afraid that I might feel out of place like how I felt when I went to the map and compass camp in 2016. During that camp, I was yearning to hold on to someone when I was hiking through those difficult trails. Yet when I looked around, I found no support.

2017. I went to the camp with a bunch of people that I enjoy hanging out with, both during fun and challenging times. I searched for no one and I thought of no one. It was liberating. 

For the first time in a long while, I was at the present moment.

Project Management Workshop? What kind of black magic is this?

So yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a project management workshop led by a few professional project managers from DHL. A huge thank you to the DHL staff who sacrificed their weekend to do this for us and to Teach For Malaysia south region staff members for organizing the workshop!

I want to focus this piece of writing on my reflection so I will only provide an overview of the workshop for you.

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[You may skip this paragraph if you have attended the workshop as well.]

We learned about project management through a game stimulation. The teams were given the task to build a spaceship for a customer, who wants to go to the moon to visit his girlfriend whom lives there. (Bro, just give up and find a new girlfriend could you?) For the final product, we were asked to build a ‘spaceship’ for an egg. Our products will be tested by dropping the egg in the spaceship from height. We could only use materials and equipment sold by a shopkeeper (role-played by a DHL facilitator) to build our spaceships. Only project manager from each team was allowed to meet and talk to the customer. As we were playing this stimulation, we went through the major stages in project management: initiating, planning, and executing.

.....................................................................................................................

Before the stimulation, the speaker highlighted seven themes in project management. Projects are kept on track by constantly addressing these themes. The first two themes are: (1) quality – what does the customer really want? The wants and needs of a customer should be clearly defined so that the product fits the bill (pun intended). For example, the customer demands comfortable seating in the spaceship so he wants no seatbelt around him (no masking tape in contact with the egg to the ship).

(2) Business case – why are we doing this? For example, the customer wants the product because he has a girlfriend to visit at the moon. For us, we want the product in order to win a bid of $30 million. If the girlfriend or the reward is pulled out of the picture, we might be aborting the mission. The speaker emphasizes that there is no shame in aborting the project if the business case has changed and there is no longer a need for the final product; waste occurs when business case has changed but the workers are still insisting on finishing what they have started. (and kids, that’s how some of the unwanted superheroes are born. ;))

I attended the afternoon session workshop and by the end of my session, all teams failed. All the eggs broke during testing. Time was certainly a limiting factor but I don’t think that’s the determining factor. During the debrief session, the facilitators mentioned that some of us were over-confident about our prototype designs, so when we were designing our budget at the beginning, we did not allocate much room for changes. I knew some had that problem, but was it really the case for everyone?

[Disclaimer: whatever that I am about to say next is purely my personal opinion and reflection. If you can resonate with my writing, great! If not, please don’t get all worked up and try to debate with me about it.]

I felt like rather than over-confident, some of us were actually not confident.

Why did we ask for a small budget to carry out the project? Because we were unconfident.

Are you being serious now? Did you not recall how some of us were naively optimistic about our design? How could we be not confident?

Erm…just try to follow along my train of thought.

During the planning stage, the customer told us that he doesn’t care about how much money he spent, as long as he can get to the moon safely. He did mention if two products worked, he would consider the cheaper one. (Of course, reasonable statement.) However, right after he said the second statement, all four teams went fanatic and planned for a spaceship design that would use as little material as possible, in hope for a cheaper final product. We lost focus of the customer’s first statement, which was obviously the most crucial quality to uphold!

Why did all of us want to build a cheaper product? Because we thought our products or our talents were not worth the big price. We were afraid that if we asked for more than the others, the customer would reject us. In all honesty, what’s wrong with building a spaceship that is way beyond the market price? The customer doesn’t care, so why should we?

Now, one step further back, why would we think our products or our talents were not worth the big price? Because we were doubtful about our self-worth. Some of us role-played as designers, we might have a good design, but because we were not confident about ourselves, we didn’t stand up and fight to persuade the project manager or the accountant that even though our design might be pricey, it was worthy.

Again one step back, why were we doubtful about our self-worth? Because we lacked the experience. Maybe, just maybe, nobody has ever told us that we were worth the price. Although we are young and inexperienced, we do have what it takes, and so we are allowed to demand a huge price.

Our head of region, who attended the morning session workshop as a participant, mentioned that two teams in the morning session succeeded in the task. I wonder, how much budget did they ask for and who were in the team?

Thinking back, for the past eight months as a teacher, there were so many times I was being reserved or I didn’t stand my ground because I thought as a new teacher, I shouldn’t be demanding or appear over-confident.

Let me give you an example. In April I needed to conduct oral test with the Form 5 Chinese students. I gave them a very hard and structured topic because I was afraid that they would take my status as an invigilator lightly if I gave them a simple topic to prepare and talk about. To be honest, up till then I had always been doubtful of my worth as a Chinese teacher because teaching Chinese as a native language is seriously no joke, and my form 4 and 5 students are quite perceptive, so often I felt inferior in front of them.

Later, I had an assessor came in to evaluate my grading. The assessor and I conducted an oral test together. She gave them a very simple topic to debate on. I facilitated the session by asking add-on questions. After the session ended, she commented on how skillful I was in facilitating the kids, pushing them to think deeper and use more precise words. Her encouragement had definitely brightened my day and lifted my worries away. Kids, I might have some weird pronunciation here and there, but that doesn’t mean I am any less. I am improving, and I expect you to improve and grow with me.

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12 (NLT)

This workshop experience has reminded me of a novel that I had read earlier this year as well. The title of the book is ‘Salmon Fishing in Yemen’. Yes, the story is literally about salmon fishing in Yemen. More precisely, the story is about how a Yemen billionaire and a US fisher scientist are working together to make salmon fishing in Yemen a reality.

Spoiler alert, at the end the project was aborted. However, through the process of this project, the Yemen billionaire has inspired the scientist to finally take action on his unhappy marriage, and he has promoted the governments of these two countries to come together and consider more collaboration. How does this novel related to project management? My inference is: an optimist plans, a pessimist sets boundaries, a realist builds, but a project manager does all of the above, plus inspires.

[If you have read till this point, you should really give yourselves a big round of applause!]

So, what have I learned about project management from this workshop? Erm…based on this reflection, I think the answer is none. *hahahah, dry laugh*

I know most likely you wouldn’t be able to read this, but I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all my team mates and the DHL facilitators as well for my unprofessional conduct yesterday during the workshop. I was mentally exhausted so I was rude with my speech and action. (Still, I know, tired is not an excuse. At least not in the adult world. L)

两头不到岸

我爱水，但是学不会游泳，所以我又特怕水。

念大学时，有一段时间我处于低迷期，当时常常幻想自己站在沙滩，静看着一片黑漆漆的大海。看着看着，脚就不由自主地渐渐前行；走到水淹过胸口之处时回头一看，一片光秃秃的海滩上渺无人烟。孤独和无助感油然而生。

之后很长一段时间，我都没想起这样的画面。

这几天莫名其妙地摊上了一个以前从来不是问题的问题，说不准是任督二脉打通了开始懂事想事了还是太多事要处理了思绪暂时捯饬不及，反正我就是突然转牛角尖起来。这事说大不大，说小不小，说穿了就一桩麻烦事。结果我一时死脑筋，处理不当反倒把事情给推进死胡同去了。该死。

然后我的朋友估了估我的现状，说了句：“两头不到岸。”

一言惊醒梦中人，醒来发现我在深海浮沉。

冷暖自知。在一团黑水之中乱踢乱蹬了七个月，就为争一口气、为发掘及培育多几颗深海明珠。猛然慢下来，才后知后觉自己呛了一肺的咸水，出了一身的冷汗。

望向四周，满满地都是一起跳船的疯子，或近或远地游着，只是一个人也摸不着。

何止两头不到岸？简直里外不是人。人情世故还没搞懂搞得自己里外不是人，也被这一波波的公务折腾得里外不是人。

吵了一会儿，又想了一会儿，先决定：不要紧呗。睡一觉醒来又是一条好汉。兵来将挡，水来土掩，我不怕后悔，只求做到问心无愧。

我尽力。

So, despacito...?

I am sure you have heard of the song “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee by now.

It’s catchy, it’s popular, it’s sensual.

I love the song.

What??!! I know, I know, just continue reading and give me a chance to illustrate my point will you?

The lyrics is provocative but it’s not grotesque. For a start, in contrary to many other popular songs, the lyrics of “Despacito” does not mention any physical beauty standards that a girl should uphold. Besides, let’s put on our mature thinking hat for a second: in the future, if my husband expresses his affection towards me in ways like the song says, I would honestly enjoy his love languages very much.

But that’s not the main reason why I am attracted to the song.

The music, the lyrics, the rhythm, the vocal, the sunny Puerto Rico and the suggestive dance in the music video, I think the song as a whole is vividly demonstrating a deep passion towards life. The type of passion that burns inside every selfless lover and devoted worker.

The passionate people would know, they are allured to challenges and discoveries like metal is attracted to magnet.

Those who love life would know, they enjoy the fast heartbeat that accompanies accomplishments and conquers; yet they have learned to slow down, to cherish the process, to make every moment counts.

The dedicated hard workers would know, they want to comb through every inch of the details; they desire to leave their mark all over their area of expertise, like a writer owning a manuscript, so that the whole world would recognize their contributions, even when they are gone.

Despacito. It’s not just an love act; it’s an attitude.

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I believe that my ongoing journey of Teach For Malaysia fellowship and my love for the nature have helped me to conceptualize the “Despacito” type of attitude.

I am constantly swamped by work; I keep telling myself that I need to slow down, to reflect, to focus, to act on the right things, yet I never actually make the time to do all these. And recently whenever I got the chance to escape to nature, instead of feeling calm and relax like I used to, I felt conflicted and tense.

Initially, I was going to let things brew longer in my brain before I pen it down; however, after listening to “Despacito” and going through all the pictures that I have taken during recent trips, I feel compelled to share these with you.

The contrast between the still, breath-taking nature and the moving, breathing people made me anxious. 

I found myself asking a lot about where I am heading and how fast should I move. 

I have the constant fear that I am not good enough. 

Furthermore, I charge myself guilty because rather than working harder to put my fear at ease, I choose to dance around with my fear because I am addicted to the adrenaline rush that associated with it.

So, whenever I listen to “Despacito”, it sends me back right to the moment of man VS. nature. The picturesque scenery, the hyped crowd, and a mind with racing thoughts, thinking of where to go next.

 @ Blue Lake, Pasir Gudang / Desaru, Pasir Gudang / Sekinchan, Selangor

洗手做羹汤

三日入厨下，洗手做羹汤。

未谙姑食性，先遣小姑尝。

《新嫁娘》- 王建

小学从四年级开始每天早上朗诵唐诗，众多五言绝句中我特别讨厌王建的这首诗。我的女权意识觉醒得早，当时年纪虽轻，却已自以为是地感叹起此诗背后的诸多不公之处：宴尔新婚，新娘玩啥煎炸爆炒？小俩口就该赖床赖到自然醒，然后再来一个breakfast in bed （床上早餐）才对啊。男人娶妻是求伴侣又不是聘请厨娘，为什么新娘得战战兢兢地接受料理测试呢？再者，新娘好歹也是当大婶的，为什么她要准备料理给当晚辈的小姑尝？这么一来，以后同住一屋檐下，小姑还会尊敬大婶吗？烂漫的小姑搞不好把这个外姓女人当成家里新添的女佣而已！

（题外话：所以说，小孩子的心思你别猜，以前大概没谁料到一个四五年级乳臭未干的丫头已经在通过吐槽唐诗来锻炼她的毒舌功。。。。。。）

可能是受这首诗影响的关系吧，我在中学时代常常摆出一副“君子远庖厨”的姿态。刚到美国那会儿，同龄的女孩们都会煮上一两道家常菜；我虽没沦落到糖盐不分的惨象，但我煮出来的东西也就是吃得入口的水平罢了。一转眼四年过去了，这四年间除了去年下半年之外，我都是在外和同屋的女孩们轮流值班煮晚餐。我现在烧菜的技术还是一般般，我的心境却起了天翻地覆的变化。

一开始，煮饭只为了填饱肚子。接着，烧菜慢慢从责任变成兴趣。再来，烹饪变成一种奉献、一种分享。第一次为教堂小组聚会准备食物的时候，我和朋友纠结了好久：一时又担心食物的分量过多或过少、一时又担心我们挑的东西不符合大家的口味；可是当我看到大伙儿围在桌子旁边吃边笑时，满满的担心轻轻地化作脸上的一抹笑。后来，料理渐渐进化成我的爱语。为是个吃货的爱人煮一桌好吃的，为陪伴我左右的朋友们烧几道拿手的菜肴，为思乡的自己做一盘记忆中的美味。爱人爱己从解决基本生理需求开始。（咋感觉越说越像在打广告？！）

自己在外玩起煮饭仔之后，才深刻体会妈妈的伟大。出得职场，入得厨房的妈妈简直是超人的化身！每次放假腻在家，我妈总用各种美食把我给供着，让我过着饭来张口的大爷生活。妈，下次我回去，我给您烧几道家常小菜好不？（前提是你甭嫌弃我粗手粗脚刷坏你的锅，还有一不小心给你煮了碟黑心料理。这次回去，看您淡定地应对我眼瞎到把防腐药包也炒下锅的窘境，我觉得你大概再过不久就会卸下心防尝试我的料理了。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。）

现在，我享受闲暇的时候，邀三五个知己在家吃顿住家菜，然后大伙儿浅酌深聊。我身边喝酒的朋友真的很少，所以我们吃饱后都不酌，只啄 ­­­——— 甜点。

唠唠叨叨地说了一大堆，此文的重点到底是什么呢？其实我也不知道（笑）。我应该只是睹（食）物思诗吧。（我现在坐在一个百货商场的食堂里等朋友。）补加一句，虽然我现在对煎炸爆炒不反感，可不代表我认同了《新嫁娘》这首诗。致我未来的老公及家婆：我乐意的时候，我可以天天做饭给您俩吃。如果您俩嘴刁，你们大可以自己下厨或是请女佣。放心，我保证我小女人的自尊心绝不会因此受创。可是若你俩饭来张口还要挑肥拣瘦，呵呵。

Quality time with dad

Ladies, what’s your favorite father-daughter bonding activity?

My dad and I are both ambiverts, curious learners, and adventurers. So, one of my favorite activities with my dad is no doubt, exploring new places with him.

This time, we made an impromptu trip to one of the less exploited caves in Ipoh. It is called 龙头岩, which literally translated as ‘Stone of Dragon’s Head’.

Caves in Ipoh are usually associated with Taoist temples, and this one is no exception. The connection between caves and temples can be traced way back to before Independence. 

During British ruling period, a lot of Chinese immigrants were brought into Ipoh to work in the mining business. They eventually settled down here and those that practice Taoism built a lot of temples at the caves.

Taoists build temples to worship their ancestors and Taoist idols. They picked caves because caves have good fengshui. Caves promise fresh water source and steady air flow, which are two important features in good fengshui. Besides that, temperature in caves is kept constant at around 23^oC, which is perfect to preserve the color pigments on the idols and Chinese memorial tablets.

Anyway, enough with the cave talk. Let’s look at some pictures!

The temple looks pretty nice don’t you think? :D

But no! That’s not why I am here! My dad promised me some adventures! I want something more exciting than this!

(DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING THAT I AM ABOUT TO SHOW YOU BELOW IS OUT OF REACH FOR VISITORS AT THE MOMENT. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO VISIT WITHOUT OWNER'S PERMISSION. TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED.)

Then my dad leads me upstairs to this.

Ooo……look at this entrance! 

It looks exactly like those entrances in the martial arts novels, which the grand master forbids the young innocent ones to enter!  

Now let’s peek and see what’s behind the door.

Look at the stone wall above again. 

Can you see an old man holding a cane and a peach (寿星公)?

Did you see an image that resemblances the picture below?

If your answer is still no, let me outline the image for you.

My unnecessary outlining totally ruins your imagination didn’t I? :p

Let’s move on and look at the roof top shall we?

I think the picture above looks like a scene from science fiction.

Can you guess what the function of the equipment around the rock is? 

(Hint: think of stalactites and stalagmites formation)

After strolling around for a while, we went back to the temple again.

Just when I thought our adventures ended here, my dad said he wants to show me a cave that has a square entrance.

Let’s go!

Erm……dad……where are we going exactly?

Nobody mentioned anything about cave deep in the bushes but that’s fine.

Finally, we reached the entrance! The entrance of the cave looks like this. \0.0/

My dad asked me whether my smart phone has torchlight. /o.0\ Yes it does, but it’s a little too late to confirm now don’t you think?!

Upon entering the cave, we could still get some natural light from above.

Then it’s pitch black ahead.

Honestly, the torchlight from my phone didn’t help much. -__-

Thankfully, my dad would tell me where to put my foot on: this patch of soil is too soft to step on, that rock is steady to step on, time to switch side……I made sure I followed my dad closely, right behind him, and took the paths that he has taken.

There you have it, the square entrance.

The picture above and some of the cave pictures below were taken with the camera flash function on.

Dad, you didn’t mention anything about roots either. And the constant sound of bat squeaking!

Oh, my dad did mention something about a creek! Look at the water, it looks so fresh!

Now, here is where I refused to move forward anymore.  

What you see in the picture above is a nice picture of the cave wall and its amazing rock formation (perhaps); what you do not see are fruit bats hanging over the cave top, and a huge broken ceramic vessel laying on the ground.

My dad said the British might have used this cave as a winery. I looked at the obviously man-made square entrance and creek. I am not too sure about your conjecture dad!

Now, out of the cave! Out of the cave!

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Let’s look at some beautiful creations of God to calm ourselves down shall we?

Dear readers, I hope you have a good time reading this. I personally had a lot of fun.

Was I angry at my dad for signing me up for something peculiar like this? 

No, of course not. I knew he has scouted the place prior to our visit. 

More importantly, I know he will protect me if anything arises.

This experience with my dad reminds me a lot about my relationship with God, my heavenly father. Even the road ahead is unclear for my naked eyes to see, I know He is always there, guiding me, walking before and along with me, leading me by the way I should go. 

Thank you God, for your love, your guidance, and the amazing parents that you have given me.

Ladies, when was the last time you did something enjoyable with your dad?