Before my friends and I left US, my church leaders briefed us
all about “reverse culture shock”.
As defined by Investopedia.com, reverse culture shock means
“the shock suffered by people when they return home after a number of years
overseas. This can result in unexpected difficulty in readjusting to the
culture and values of the home country, now that the previously familiar has
become unfamiliar.”
*For short, the term “reverse culture shock” will be
abbreviated as RCS in the rest of this article.
My church leaders learned about RCS from personal
experiences and academic resources; and they have given us some useful tips and
advices on how to deal with it. Based on my understanding, the two key points
to deal with RCS are: 1) recognize it, 2) process and talk about it in a safe
space.
Why should I recognize RCS?
If you are aware of RCS, you are more likely to cope with
your “new life” better and faster, because you are aware of the differences
between the two cultures that you have been / are in, so you will not demand
things to go exactly like how they have been before.
Why should I process and talk about my RCS experience?
Just like every other problems you face, you need to tell
the others about it so that they can help you. Even if you don’t need any help,
talking about it makes you realize that you are not alone in this struggle.
There are a lot of people out there who have been / are going through the
similar situation.
I don’t think of RCS as a problem, but I would like to talk
about it as well, because I think this topic is fun! And I would like to share
this fun with all of my readers!
As much as I think RCS is a fun topic to talk about, you
might want to be careful of your tone, your choice of words, and be considerate
of your audiences when you talk about this topic. We want to share our
experiences; however, we definitely do not want to sound like one of those
snobbish oversea returnees that are self-centered, and think that grass is
always greener on the other side.
Finally, after the long introduction, let’s go to the list
of “Top (First) 5 Reverse Culture Shock that I Experienced in Malaysia!”
1. BYOB-ON: Bring Your Own Bags Of Napkins!
In Malaysia, before you leave your house, be sure to stuff
your bag with wet wipes / napkins / tissues / toilet paper or whatever you use
to wipe your mouth, hand, and bottom, because “wipes” are usually not provided
in restaurants or public restrooms!
With the exception of some high-end or “modern style”
facilities, most places do not give napkins for free. But don’t be afraid,
small pack of tissues (yes, we call it tissues here) are sold everywhere so you
can get it easily when you need to use it.
Besides that, based on my personal experience, you will
quickly adapt (or re-adapt) to this culture norm after you found yourselves in
an awkward situation described as follows:
You are alone in the mall and you are struck with a sudden,
urgent need to use the restroom. You dash in, take a huge dump; and after you
are done, you realize that the restroom does not have toilet paper and you
don’t have any tissues with you!
So, you are left with the following options: A) yell for
help and hopefully a kind stranger will offer you some tissues, B) use papers,
socks, or whatever you have with you as toilet paper, C) pull up your pants and
quietly leave the restroom as if nothing has happened.
Of course, you can always choose option D) wash your butt
with water hose provided in the restroom, which leads me to talk about my
second reverse culture shock.
2. Wet Bathroom / Toilet
The floor of American bathrooms and toilets, both public and
private ones, are always dry.
It’s pretty unlikely to get the floor wet because for
bathrooms, the bathtubs or the shower areas are always nicely isolated by
shower curtain or glass door. As for the toilets, they’re always sitting toilet
bowls.
Besides that, it’s really troublesome if you get the floor
wet because there is usually no drainage on the floor, so you will have to wipe
off the water using either mop or cloth, or else the water will accumulate and
cause nasty stain and mold on the floor. Dry bathroom and toilets also make
sense in US because of the presence of winter.
As contrary, the floor of Malaysian bathrooms and toilets
are always wet. We use squatting toilets more so it’s ridiculous if the floor
is 100% dry. Besides that, as I mentioned above, water hose is provided in a
lot of restroom cubicles for people to wash their bottoms, so wet floor in the
restrooms are inevitable.
(PS: for all my international friends, despite the wet
floor, when you are using the hose to wash your bottom, you are supposed to do
it carefully at the toilet bowl so that most of the dirty water is drained into
the bowl directly and not on the floor!)
As for the bathrooms, we use the whole room for shower. A
lot of traditional household bathrooms (including mine) have water storage tank
to store water for shower use. Believe me, showerhead is fine, but nothing can
beat the satisfaction you get from rinsing your body with big scoops of water
during a hot humid day.
3. Paying with Cash
Paying for grocery or paying bills in USA have always been a
hassle free task. From a 79 cents donut to a 7.99 dollars meal to a 790
dollars’ worth of flight ticket, you can pay all of it using the same debit or
credit card. With the exception of some Asian restaurants and street stalls,
most places in USA accept debit and/or credit card. I love this system because
I didn’t have to carry any cash around.
In Malaysia, most places still accept cash only. While it is
a little troublesome to carry cash and coins around, I think paying cash in
Malaysia has been made easier than paying cash in USA because of our colorful
Malaysian Ringgit: 50 ringgits bill is dull green in color, 20 in orange, 10 in
red, 5 in bright green, and 1 in blue. I love these colorful bills because they
make organizing my wallet a much easier task!
4. Internet
I want to cover a whole range of issues when I use the term
“internet.”
First, internet speed in Malaysia is slightly slower than
that in US. Besides that, I don’t get 4G data coverage for my phone at some
public places, or when it’s about to have a heavy downpour at where I am. Of
course, high speed internet and unlimited data, as good as those in US, are
available in Malaysia, but with a price that makes someone as frugal as me
think more than twice.
(PS: Internet speed and price are highly dependent on where
you live in Malaysia. If you live in metropolitan areas such as KL, Selangor,
or Penang, it’s more likely that you can get better internet service at a
cheaper rate. As for the rest of us, we will just live with what we are
offered, and what we can afford.)
Second, websites and phone applications for Malaysian
companies and organizations are not up-to-date, and not user-friendly for
online transactions. After I open an account in a local bank, the first thing I
did was to go on android app stores and try to download the mobile app of the
bank. I managed to download it, but I realized I can’t use the app unless I
physically go back to the bank again, update my phone information, and apply
for phone banking through website of the bank.
Another incident occurred yesterday when I tried to purchase
train tickets online. The website was slow and it offered confusing instructions.
These frustrating moments really made me miss fast and secured online banking
and transaction in USA, a whole lot.
5. The power of RETURN is now invalid!
Think twice before you purchase anything in Malaysia. Once
you pay and walk out of the store with your purchased item, you are stuck with it.
No return, no refund; maybe if you are lucky, you can get an exchange.
I am not sure whether strict returns policy in Malaysia is a
good thing or a bad thing. I think it’s actually useful in helping the people
to learn how to shop smart, and how to shop for only what you need. However, I
certainty miss those times in US where I could shop carefree, knowing that I
can always get a return if the product is not suitable.
Of course, you can always choose to bless your friends and
family with new stuff that you bought but don’t need. I mean, nobody will
reject freebies, right? I mean, spread the love and help with reduce, reuse and recycle!
That concludes my list of “Top (First) 5 Reverse Culture Shock that I Experienced in Malaysia!” Thank you for all of you who read till the end. Feel free to comment below and tell me about your reverse culture shock experience!
