In Malaysia, there are two categories of the marriage procedure, namely the Islamic procedure for Muslim couples and the civil procedure for non-Muslims. For non-Muslims, while a formal process of marriage registration is compulsory, a wedding ceremony is typically also conducted in accordance with the couple’s culture, tradition or religious customs.
There are two places for non-Muslim couples to solemnize their marriages in Malaysia. They can either do so at National Registration Department (JPN), or they can go to a local church / temple / association which has a certified Assistant Registrar of Marriages.
I didn't want to write about our ROM for the longest of time, mostly because I still feel embarrassed every time I recall how poorly I behaved during this supposedly happy day. My anxiety rose to a crescendo on the morning of our ROM. All the what-ifs and all my regrets marched and discoed unrestrained in my brain. I knew it is quite common for brides or grooms to get cold feet before their weddings, but man, I didn't expect the sudden urge to run away and/or to end my life at that moment to be so overwhelming.
2022 is a confusing year for me. On one hand, I am preparing and celebrating a significant milestone in my life, which is entering a marriage. On the other hand, I am experiencing career plateau and battling some inner demons, such as laziness, envy, and resentment, that have grown stronger over my adult years. Unfortunately, my anxiety of the uncertainty and the disappointment I feel when encountering setbacks have outweighed my excitement of getting married. Since my inner peace is wearing thin, even the smallest external factor could cause me to be annoyed and sad.
Albeit my madness, everyone else around me was super supportive and they went out of their way to accommodate for Noel's and my needs on our day of ROM. These people are the main reason why I want to write this post. I want to remember their kindness.
Thank you, my sister and Ducky, for buying me a very lovely dress that I could wear on the day.
Thank you, Siew Ting, for the crochet sunflowers. They looked gorgeous in photos.
Thank you, Hazel, my sister-in-law, for doing my makeup. I definitely looked more presentable (read: less tired) thanks to your magic touch.
Albeit my madness, everyone else around me was super supportive and they went out of their way to accommodate for Noel's and my needs on our day of ROM. These people are the main reason why I want to write this post. I want to remember their kindness.
Thank you, my sister and Ducky, for buying me a very lovely dress that I could wear on the day.
Thank you, Siew Ting, for the crochet sunflowers. They looked gorgeous in photos.
Thank you, Hazel, my sister-in-law, for doing my makeup. I definitely looked more presentable (read: less tired) thanks to your magic touch.
Thank you, Michelle and Jane, for being the photographers of the day. The photos you took well captured the joyous moment.
Thank you, my godparents, for being the witnesses of our marriage.
Thank you, Noel's auntie and uncle, for your enthusiasm in helping us to make the upcoming wedding ceremony a meaningful event. Noel was worried that I would flip during the discussion, but in reality, emotionally I was too tired to care and rationally I knew you meant well.
Thank you, Amanda, Grace, Rheena, ST, and Wan Ning, my girl friends, for giving me emotional support throughout the preparation process.
Thank you, my father and mother-in-law, for being very patient and accommodating when entertaining my rants and concerns.
Thank you, my father and mother-in-law, for being very patient and accommodating when entertaining my rants and concerns.
Thank you, my dad and mom, for listening to me yap for hours before and after the ROM and for giving me the most rational advice. Nothing cools me down faster than getting a reality check from my mom.
Ultimately, thank you, Noel, for everything.
Noel pulled his weight by handling all the communication with the church. Throughout the ROM/wedding preparation process, he has stepped up his game by a few notches, adapting to my quirks and doing the work I dread. Keep up the good work, mate! *^w^*
We are halfway through the entire wedding / starting a marriage process, and I can't wait to be done with everything.
Wedding Checklist:
1. Marriage Preparation Course ✅2. Pre-wedding Photoshoot ✅
3. Registration of Marriage ✅
4. Dinner with Tan's Family
5. Wedding Ceremony
6. Luncheon with Ng's family
7. Body Checkup
8. Moving
Many people have asked me what has changed for Noel and me since ROM and whether we are enjoying this newly wedded phase. Noel and I are not staying together yet. We will only move in together after our wedding ceremony in December. So, I am to be honest still not sure whether I enjoy the married life.
So far, the most drastic change I have to learn to accept is that my money is no longer my money, and my plan is no longer my plan. I guess the silver lining of this is that similarly, his things are no longer his things. I now have the legal rights to throw away declutter his dungeon.
Let's end with this picture of Noel looking at me lovingly, unaware that my mind has drifted to planning which of his stuff I am going to clear off first.
