Registration of Marriage, and more

The Registration of Marriage for Noel and I took place on September 10th, 2022, which coincidentally was the day of Mid-Autumn Festival this year.

*Some facts about getting married in Malaysia:

In Malaysia, there are two categories of the marriage procedure, namely the Islamic procedure for Muslim couples and the civil procedure for non-Muslims. For non-Muslims, while a formal process of marriage registration is compulsory, a wedding ceremony is typically also conducted in accordance with the couple’s culture, tradition or religious customs.

There are two places for non-Muslim couples to solemnize their marriages in Malaysia. They can either do so at National Registration Department (JPN), or they can go to a local church / temple / association which has a certified Assistant Registrar of Marriages.

I didn't want to write about our ROM for the longest of time, mostly because I still feel embarrassed every time I recall how poorly I behaved during this supposedly happy day. My anxiety rose to a crescendo on the morning of our ROM. All the what-ifs and all my regrets marched and discoed unrestrained in my brain. I knew it is quite common for brides or grooms to get cold feet before their weddings, but man, I didn't expect the sudden urge to run away and/or to end my life at that moment to be so overwhelming.

2022 is a confusing year for me. On one hand, I am preparing and celebrating a significant milestone in my life, which is entering a marriage. On the other hand, I am experiencing career plateau and battling some inner demons, such as laziness, envy, and resentment, that have grown stronger over my adult years. Unfortunately, my anxiety of the uncertainty and the disappointment I feel when encountering setbacks have outweighed my excitement of getting married. Since my inner peace is wearing thin, even the smallest external factor could cause me to be annoyed and sad.

Albeit my madness, everyone else around me was super supportive and they went out of their way to accommodate for Noel's and my needs on our day of ROM. These people are the main reason why I want to write this post. I want to remember their kindness.

Thank you, my sister and Ducky, for buying me a very lovely dress that I could wear on the day.

Thank you, Siew Ting, for the crochet sunflowers. They looked gorgeous in photos.

Thank you, Hazel, my sister-in-law, for doing my makeup. I definitely looked more presentable (read: less tired) thanks to your magic touch.

Thank you, Hazel, Nelson, and Nicholas, my brothers-in-law, for coming over to Malaysia to witness the ceremony and spend time with us.

Thank you, Michelle and Jane, for being the photographers of the day. The photos you took well captured the joyous moment.

Thank you, my godparents, for being the witnesses of our marriage.

Thank you, Noel's auntie and uncle, for your enthusiasm in helping us to make the upcoming wedding ceremony a meaningful event. Noel was worried that I would flip during the discussion, but in reality, emotionally I was too tired to care and rationally I knew you meant well.

Thank you, Amanda, Grace, Rheena, ST, and Wan Ning, my girl friends, for giving me emotional support throughout the preparation process.

Thank you, my father and mother-in-law, for being very patient and accommodating when entertaining my rants and concerns.

Thank you, my dad and mom, for listening to me yap for hours before and after the ROM and for giving me the most rational advice. Nothing cools me down faster than getting a reality check from my mom.

Ultimately, thank you, Noel, for everything.

Noel pulled his weight by handling all the communication with the church. Throughout the ROM/wedding preparation process, he has stepped up his game by a few notches, adapting to my quirks and doing the work I dread. Keep up the good work, mate! *^w^*

We are halfway through the entire wedding / starting a marriage process, and I can't wait to be done with everything. 

Wedding Checklist:

1. Marriage Preparation Course ✅

2. Pre-wedding Photoshoot ✅

3. Registration of Marriage ✅

4. Dinner with Tan's Family

5. Wedding Ceremony

6. Luncheon with Ng's family

7. Body Checkup

8. Moving 

Many people have asked me what has changed for Noel and me since ROM and whether we are enjoying this newly wedded phase. Noel and I are not staying together yet. We will only move in together after our wedding ceremony in December. So, I am to be honest still not sure whether I enjoy the married life. 

So far, the most drastic change I have to learn to accept is that my money is no longer my money, and my plan is no longer my plan. I guess the silver lining of this is that similarly, his things are no longer his things. I now have the legal rights to throw away declutter his dungeon. 

Let's end with this picture of Noel looking at me lovingly, unaware that my mind has drifted to planning which of his stuff I am going to clear off first.

Pre-Wedding Photoshoot (The Reveal)

A few weeks ago, I told a friend that I might not post any photos from my pre-wedding photoshoot online because I was worried that some people would be irritated seeing their newsfeed being spammed with photos from lovey-dovey newlyweds like Noel and me. 

However, I have completely changed my mind after receiving the outcome from the wedding studio! The final products are so lovely! 

Candice from C Bride Wedding Studio did such an amazing job with the editing. My thick arms look slim; I look less wrinkly. Most importantly, my smiles in the edited photos look even more natural than that in the original pictures. Looking back, I have no idea why I grinned like a psychopath who had just murdered a family during the shoot.

Without further ado, let me show you some of my favorite photos!

Yooo...I love this photo so much! 

We look so dorky! 

Instead of stylish poses that flaunt our curves or candid poses that supposedly show off our chemistry, I actually prefer classic poses like this.

Both my mother and mother-in-law love it too. 

This is definitely a picture that will stand the test of time, at least in my dictionary.

A good chunk of photos we chose were taken with this background because the scene looks dreamy through the professional lens. 

Also, I love how this picture showcases the tiara and the lace details on my shoulder.

Noel looks a little like Crayon Shin-chan with those accentuated brows, but his smile is bright, as bright as that when he received his PS5. So, he's good.

This picture is a concise reenactment of what happens regularly when we spend time together.

The day begins just like any other days. 

Noel enters the room, happily immersed in his headspace. 

Suddenly, I stop him and excitedly babble on about the novel I am reading or the latest gossip I heard. 

Few minutes later, all Noel can think about is how to politely end the one-sided conversation without me getting offended. 

Let me tell ya, he might still be beaming but he has certainly spaced out.

Yooo...the teacher's persona is strong in this photo. Haha.

I adore the design of this Kua skirt, so I think this pose is perfect to showcase all its intricate details and layers.

Since we don't have a pet dog that we could include in the photos to brighten up the mood, a pet bonsai would do. :p

Initially, we chose this picture as THE photo to be printed out and hung in our future home. I love how radiant our smiles are.

However, after much deliberation, we decided to print out another picture instead since the hemline of my dress looks slightly rumpled in this. 

Nevertheless, this remains as one of my favorites, and for sure, I have to include it in this post to commemorate the hard work Noel put in to lift me up. XD     

Last but not least, let me show a side-by-side comparison of how we look in the raw photo versus the edited photo. 

I mean...we don't look bad, but I definitely need to work on my sitting posture so that my neck and back look less thick.

I'm going to do some arm and back exercises now. Bye bye.

 

Pre-Wedding Photoshoot (Behind the Scenes)

As the title suggests, this post will showcase pictures galore of me in different wedding dresses. If you are not interested in this, feel free to click away now.

Part 1: Some Thoughts

Some couples opt to not do a pre-wedding photoshoot while some prefer to have a photoshoot in their casual clothes. However, since Noel and I have very few nice couple photos taken over the years of us dating, I think wedding is the perfect reason for both of us to doll up and take some corny yet memorable pictures.

Besides that, this is literally a once-in-a-lifetime experience. As a bona fide millennial (someone born from 1981 to 1996) who favors memories and experiences over owning material goods, I couldn't possibly miss out on this!

The whole pre-wedding photoshoot experience in the East is very different from that in the West. There are also many different ways couples can pull together resources for a pre-wedding photoshoot. I will only share with you my personal experience.

Part 2: The Selection Process

Noel and I did not have the time and enthusiasm to scout around for separate wedding dress rental, photographer, and makeup artist. Therefore, we chose to engage the service of a wedding studio, which pretty much took care of everything we needed. 

In fact, we did not even survey any studios online or in person. In June, I asked for contacts from a friend of mine who recently got married in Penang. Then, out of the three contacts she shared with me, Noel and I went to visit two of them in person and swiftly decided on one.

The studio that we picked was C Bride Wedding Studio. The owners are amiable, and I feel more comfortable talking to them compared to the staff in another studio. Noel also prefers this place simply because it is quite near to his parents' home, so it lessens his burden as the driver.

Part 3: The Actual Process

In September, we visited the studio for the second time for the actual photoshoot. The whole process took three consecutive days. 

On the first day, we tried out different gowns and suits and picked out the ones we were going to wear. I tried 15 outfits in total, and picked 1 white wedding dress, 1 color gown and 1 Chinese traditional Kua. Noel tried 6 outfits in total, and picked 2 three-piece suits and 1 Chinese traditional outfit. Unfortunately, and certainly, everyone can tell who is given more attention during a pre-wedding photoshoot. Sorry, boys!

On the second day, we had a 10-hour photoshoot session. Thankfully, these long hours included makeup session and commuting to the outdoor photoshoot location. Even though most of the photos were taken indoor in a studio, there were many props and setups for us to interact with, so the end products do not look monotonous at all. For the outdoor location, we chose Penang Botanical Garden because I wanted something natural and lush as background.

This was my first look for the photoshoot. 

Just for clarification, I had yet to change into my gown when I took this selfie.

This was my third look.

I took this selfie on the way to Penang Botanical Garden. 

At this point, I was already mentally in bed.

On the third day, we went back to the studio to pick out photos that we like. The package we signed up included 35 edited photos. The selection took about an hour, with some help from my mother-in-law. I think having an extra pair of eyes really helped to speed up the process.

To be frank, one of the biggest perks that this studio offers is giving back the customers all the raw photos that have been taken. However, Noel and I gave up on this perk for a slightly lower price because we don't think we will ever go through all 300+ photos of us again after the wedding. In the end, I believe that we have picked out the most endearing pictures that beautifully captured our relationship and our photoshoot experience.

Part 4: The Dresses

Here comes the exciting part of this post where I will show you all the gowns I tried. However, I will not show the two actual gowns that I picked for the photoshoot. 

Dress No. 1 

I love how dreamy the bottom half of the gown looks, but I hate that there are two very define lines on my armpit areas. Also, this dress is too small for me.

Dress No. 2

I think I look great in this, but it is too revealing.

Dress No. 4

This is Noel's favorite; he likes the distinct leavy pattern. 

I love it too, but I don't like how long my torso looks in this gown.  

Dress No. 5

I love both the leavy pattern and the dots on the dress! 

Unfortunately, this dress is rather revealing as well.

Dress No. 6

I had never imagined myself in a gown like this, but surprisingly, I love it after I put it on!

However, I didn't choose this because I look like I am going to attend a Bollywood dance party instead of getting married. In the end, I still prefer lace over stones. 

Dress No. 7

This dress is so pretty!!

If I had a chance to redo the entire photoshoot, I would definitely pick this!

I think the only reason I didn't choose this is because it's rather similar to the white gown I chose in the end. 

Dress No. 8

I guess you can tell by now that I prefer the off-shoulder design. 

I need some fabric on both sides to hide my thick arms.

Dress No. 9

This dress looks very elegant when it's on a hanger, but it's not meant to be worn by me.

For some reason, I don't look good in it. 

Dress No. 10

Ermm...no.

Dress No. 11

This is another dress that I didn't expect myself to look good in!

When the owner first asked me about my preference, I told her I wanted something off shoulder and A-line. I also specifically told her that I preferred to avoid something with love neckline or mermaid cut.

Nevertheless, I am actually quite happy to have tried on this piece. I almost picked this.

Dress No. 12

Hmm...no.

Dress No. 14

Last but not least, here's a picture of me in the Kua that I didn't choose in the end.

There're tiny bells on this outfit that would jingle when I move around, so it is cute!

Part 5: Closing Thoughts

Noel and I are very satisfied with the service offered. My mother-in-law also has a good first impression of the owners. Therefore, on the day we went to select the photos, we booked their photography and makeup service for my actual wedding day right away. 

After we settled the photoshoot and booking, my friend, who is also getting married soon, told me about the prices she was offered when surveying some bridal studios in Johor Bahru. Only then did I have a clear idea that Noel and I really seized a sweet deal from C Bride. I am not paid by the owners to say this, but I sincerely think that the price is very reasonable for the top-notch service they offer.

Personally, I guess the only downside of using the service of a bridal studio is that the photos we took might look rather similar to that of other couples, who have their photos taken in other studios. In fact, I saw another friend of mine sharing her pre-wedding photos on Facebook recently, and it's amusing how some backdrops and poses look oddly familiar to Noel and me.

However, since I am not a famous person who thrives on having the most unique portfolio, I think it's totally fine to have similar gowns, backdrops or poses. Most importantly, we each have a unique spouse that is exclusive to us.

 

Our Story Thus Far

Noel and I were engaged on March 14th, 2022, which was exactly the 1314th day since we got together.

In Chinese, the numbers 1314 sound similar to "forever" or "for the rest of one's life".

So far, I have only shared this joyful news with close friends and family. I have also uploaded a photo of our engagement briefly on Instastory, but I have not written any post about it. It is because I think a FB/ Instagram post with few words or pictures is insufficient for me to express my thoughts. Since a lot of my friends and relatives do not know Noel personally, I want to introduce him properly to everyone via this blog entry. It took me a while to get to this because I had been overwhelmed with work for the past few weeks, but now here I am, ready to tell you our story.

Photo taken in September 2018 at CAN Studio, Johor. 

We knew each other since November 2016 through Teach For Malaysia Fellowship program. When we were having our two-month pre-service training in Kuala Lumpur, we spent many weekends watching movies and anime together in my hotel room. We had many delightful conversations and bonded well as friends.

In 2017, both of us, along with other TFM Fellows placed in Pasir Gudang, worked together on two projects. One of them was Accenture Kickstart. Throughout this project, Noel had demonstrated himself as a tenacious team leader. His steadfast commitment to his faith and work is one of the qualities I admire about him. His determination has also proven crucial in sustaining our relationship later on.

Photo taken in August 2017 at TFM South Region Office, Johor.

In March 2018, Noel and I started working for an international translation studio together as collaborators. We translated web novels from Chinese to English. We spent a big chunk of our after-school hours together - translating, proofreading, lamenting on ridiculous plot lines, and talking about various genres of novels. This is undoubtedly one of the biggest contributing factors of us becoming a couple. Up until this day, we are still business partners in the translation industry.

Photo taken in August 2018 during our graduation ceremony for completing Postgraduate Diploma in Education.

Photo taken in August 2018 at Kellie Castle, Perak.
We visited Penang and Perak on a road trip with a few friends to celebrate the end of our diploma program.

Photo taken in November 2018 in Malacca.
We went there for our SPP interview, in hope of passing it and becoming full-time teachers eligible for pension scheme. We eventually got our permanent teaching placement in April 2019.

Photo taken in November 2018 during TFM Alumnext dinner.

Photo taken in March 2019 at Kek Lok Si Temple, Penang.

Photo taken in December 2019 during the CIMB Mozek Camp. We joined the camp as facilitators.

Aside from various work opportunities, Noel and I are very appreciative of our friends for getting us out of our rooms for different social activities. 

Without them, the two of us would be in pajamas all-day long. Noel would be enthralled by his video games while I would be fully immersed in my web novels. We would stay in the same room for hours without talking to each other. In fact, we enjoyed a continual period of uninterrupted couple time doing exactly so in 2020, when the Malaysian government strictly imposed Movement Control Order during the beginning of Covid-19. Of course, no photos were taken to commemorate those seemingly mundane moments. However, both Noel and I agree that those moments were well-spent with each other's presence. 

Nevertheless, we cherish the time spent hanging out with friends. Friends come and go as we are each in different seasons of our lives, but the fond memories stay with us forever.

Photo taken in February 2018 during Noel's 26th birthday.
Birthday celebrations are always a great reason to meet up for good food.

Photo taken in August 2018 at ESCAPE theme park in Penang.

Photo taken in December 2019 during Elaine's wedding in Kuching, Sarawak.

Photo taken in January 2020 at Lost in JB, Johor.
We played an escape game to celebrate my 26th birthday.

Photo taken in November 2021 at EnergX, Johor.
We played in an indoor trampoline park to celebrate Siew Ting's 31st birthday.

Photo taken in November 2021 at Desaru Coast Adventure Waterpark, Johor.
We played in a waterpark to celebrate Amanda's 28th birthday.

Noel and I have come to a consensus very early on that a marriage is the joining of two families. Therefore, we make conscious effort to get to know each other's families and try our best to spend time with them. 

Photo taken in December 2018, when I met Noel's family for the first time.

Sometimes, I find it a little uneasy to hang out with Noel's family because his family dynamics is drastically different from mine. Besides that, I take a tremendously long time to warm up to elders in general. However, I am beyond thankful that Noel's family members and relatives are very understanding and they go out of their way to make sure that I feel included. 

Last night, when Noel and I were doing an assignment for our marriage preparation course, I was surprised when Noel said that our families have a lot in common. Due to my pessimistic nature, I tend to fixate on our differences a lot. One thing I can definitely learn from Noel is to focus on what binds us together, and not what pushes us apart.

Photo taken in September 2019, when the family got together to celebrate Noel's father completing a master's degree in Counseling.

Photo taken in December 2020 at my house in Ipoh, Perak.
I think it was the first time our parents met. I can't remember for sure.

Photo taken on Christmas 2020 in Penang.

Photo taken in May 2022.
Noel and I are very grateful to have Aunt Maria and her family here in Johor. Their presences definitely make Johor feel a lot more like home for both of us.

Noel and I have a lot of in-depth conversations about faith, and we both desire to maintain a close relationship with God. Noel introduced me to Catholicism, and I joined the Catholic church in September 2020. However, this came as no surprise to me personally because of my background in the Anglican church. 

Of course, Noel and I are still, occasionally amazed or amused by the different approaches or understandings we have towards a topic. Though I might be frustrated by our differences in many aspects, faith has never been an issue between the two of us.

Photo taken in September 2020 during my baptism at the Cathedral of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Johor.

Here're a few more pictures of us which I find endearing.

Photo taken in December 2019 at Kuching, Sarawak.

Photo taken in December 2019 at Kuching, Sarawak.

Photo taken in December 2019 in Penang.

Finally, let me end this entry with the picture below. I think it has precisely captured the dynamics of our relationship -- Noel is the stable one while I am the flexible one. 

To put things into perspective, Noel's personality has remained largely unchanged throughout these six years, classifying him as an ENFJ-A (Protagonist). On the other hand, I changed from ENTJ-T (Commander) to ENFJ-T (Protagonist) to ENFP-T (Campaigner) to INFP-T (Mediator). The result of these personality tests should not be taken too seriously, but I think it illustrates my point here.

I am well aware that each plus point comes with a potential downside. For instance, a stable person also means a stubborn person. However, I am reminded that all of us need a lot of grace, from both God and people around us, to grow into the likeness of Christ. 

Often, I am impressed by the humility shown by Noel. Recently, we almost got into an accident due to his carelessness. As expected, my worrying nature flared up and I tended to micromanage him when he drove. I knew that he was annoyed, but instead of bickering with me, he thanked me for being his extra pair of eyes. Gradually, I loosened up and now, things go back to normal for both of us.

To sustain any relationship, I figured that I should carve all the good moments on stone (read: on social media) so that it will last for a long time. I will scrawl all the bad moments on sand so that they will be gone when the wind blows. I certainly hope that this entry will not be a summary of all the fun we have. Instead, it will be a prelude to many more exciting years to come. 

Thank you to all family and friends who have been showering Noel and I with lots of love and blessings. It is our privilege to have you in our lives.